Ok just realised i spent precious time writing crap in my latest entry [look above u]. Oh well. Got 10 days to finish my unfinished business here.... in Singapore. Wads coming up at the bottom probably wun be relevant to any of you, just making a reminder for myself.

Things to Do:
1) Reformat the friggin' com
2) Complete Arc the Lad
3) Complete Final Fantasy X
4) Rip mp3s from CDs
5) Configure mp3s in the mp3 player
6) Shop for wallet & windbreaker
7) Watch Spiderman 2
8) Go tan

Ok done with my list. Quite a handful to do within 10 days. Gah. One at a time.

You dun miss your water till the well runs dry.
You can always seek other wells.
Or wait for the next rain season.
If water is truly precious to you.
Different approaches.
A proactive one.
Or a sitting duck one.
You still achieve water at the end.
You still risk death.
Being unable to find water
During the journey.
During the long wait.
Choose.

Lost in my own space
Disillusioned, self-deluded daze
What is this place
Lost my mind pace
Fell behind the time race
No more study craze
I need serenity, solace
To pass this phase
An endless wild goose chase
For grades and praise
Must not put to waste
The time in this place
I rest my case.
*Prays*

Mugged again at Suntec. Wasn't very productive, started rather late at abt 3. Did maths. The supposedly easy discrete random variables questions turned out to be irritating. Did 2 questions in 25mins, in the end both qns got wrong. Was so damn frustrated and pissed off at myself for making stupid sinful dumbass idiotic lame downright uncalled for careless mistakes. Felt stupified. Decided to drop maths and go on to Econs. Almost finished with Theory of Income n Employment within the last hr of studying. Oh and the air con in Burger King there was so cold i was sneezing my nose away. Worse thing was had no tissue, had to reach the toilet after every mad sneeze uproar. Mucus was trickling down like tapwater bleah. Was sniffing like a sick dog.

Had gone to Suntec on Monday to mug oso, maths n chem. I dunno whether its more efective if i mug at home or there. Have to take time to travel there, and get distracted by the noise and external surroundings. At home it gets bored quickly, with the lack of random sounds. Music isnt for me either, ill either get tranced into a dance rage or a singing frenzy wif my favourite songs. Hmmz. Dilemma dilemma.

Left with 4 days. Wonder if i'll be able to finish the syllabus covered. Plus perform and score for the papers. Already taking the Germany trip as a form of escapism for me, running away from the results. Well, it wouldn't be too good if the results were to be out before we leave for the competition. Its either harsh reality or escapism for me i guess.

Havent felt the strong urge to finish mugging quickly even though time's running short. Well maybe im just taking this CT as a benchmark for how much effort i need to put in after choir's over. Until then, i still have everything under control? Im just thinking im slacking away now, and im definitely able to catch up if i start mugging after CT2. Now thats a form of escapism.

Oh well. Everyone seems to be slacking for this CT. Well maybe thats wad they want gullible people like us to think. And in the end the one getting the grades are still those that claim they havent studied a shit in the hols, panicking even after taking the paper.

Immunity system failing on me. Mainly cos ive been sleeping late, and trying to wake up early. Havent been getting sufficient vit c too, now trying to eat more apples when im hungry, instead of thinking of instant noodles. Saves cooking time too. But not too filling tho. Been having a lump in my throat, plus the air con always feels so cold nowadays. Have to sleepwalk to the controller to turn it off in the middle of my sleep. And the haze is making my nose reactive. Gah.

And my com finally started giving me probs. No surprise, since downloads are on 24 hrs of the day, and my com hasnt gotten any shuteye for a VERY long time. No wonder when i tried restarting it it took helluva long time to restart. Probably wasnt used to being shut down i suppose. That function was so rusty in its list of commands that it was probably archived. Anyway there's this irritating advertisement thing that does weird stuff to my com. Like it doesnt allow me to delete or move applications, forever overwrites my homepage on my browser with some dysfunctional website of theirs, be it how many times i reset my homepage. And i cun operate WC3, says they cun find the cd when its right there in the drive working on autorun. And there are errors on startup. Darn. Guess ill have to reformat these sick patient o' mine. Not without burning my tonnes of stuff in here first tho. Wads a person/computer without its memories being remembered anyway? =P Damn its gonna be so troublesome starting from scratch again. Gotta redownload mp3s, reinstall impt progs, and get everything back in order. Sigh. Maybe getting a fren hus a com guru to try n fix the prob may be a better solution.

Theres always reasoning excuses for Tomorrows, but never a planned purpose for Today.

Huacheng's Bdae
Celebrated it on Saturday, aft choir practice. Had lunch at Swensens, the one located opposite Taka, next to the Hello Singtel. Wanted to get inhouse seats with air con, but since there wasnt any vacancy, had to settle with the outdoor section. Was chilling to the music the Citibank booth beside us were playing. And there was this crappy emcee trying to advertise for Citibank and approaching passers-by to answer questions. And the reward they get? A can of Coke. Nice way to chill in the hot weather after tolerating those stupid questions given by the host eh?

Oh havent personally wished HC happy birthday yet. Here goes: [ahem] Zhu ni shen ri kuai le, Zhu ni shen ri kuai le......[Repeat n times where n=infinity]

Everyone was kinda taxed out by the stress from choir and studies I suppose. Their faces were showing lethargy, much as they tried to hide it. Conversation was kinda small, not everyone was bursting with energy trying to lame or fool around. Guess some people felt kinda left out I supposed. The people on the other side were kinda bored, too sian to engage in any conversation oso. Hmmz. Next time we should get a round table so that everyone can be involved.

Went back home feeling damn tired. Fell flat on bed and napped for abt 3 hrs I think. In fact everyone was feeling sleepy after that lunch which dragged till 5pm. Maybe the cooks added a tinge of sleeping powder. Trying to drug voin loitre like us, tsk tsk.

Oh gave HC a blue shirt, chosen by SR. Gd taste. And a purple cool water bottle. Cun believe how jh thinks its blue. Oh and a big card too, full of our himbo and bimbo lurve~. Not. We're smart, intelligent and voin people.

Din do any mugging the past weekend. Boxer's quote: I must work harder. Hayakun gambatte ne!

Its kinda funny
How blogging
Loses its true purpose
With self-censorship
Taking in regard
What others might say
Assuming many unknown people
Come here to visit

It gets mundane
How blogging
Becomes an everyday chore
Writing all the day's happenings
To show everyone
What you have done today
When we actually
Don't bother

Its so lame
How blogging
Becomes an advertising tool
Of your wide virtual network
When in real life
People dun talk to you
But secretly visits
To learn abt you

Theres no reason
How blogging
Should make you vulnerable
As you portray feelings
For half the world
You dun intend to reveal to
Giving views, opinions
For those truly close to you

Maybe that's why people dun reveal too many feelings that affects them deep down anymore. You never know who might read them and start learning your weaknesses anyway.

Had a ex-class outing on Tuesday. Updating it so late cos its not really worth mentioning. Considering the fact that it was more pissifying than enjoyable. Oh well, at least got to see people I haven't seen in 1.5 yrs. And to see that they havent changed at all. Oh well 1.5 years is a short time for change anyway.

Summary of the good points: Reminisced the old past where our form teacher sux. Had a game of Big2 like an old folks' gathering. Played Karaoke Revolution on the PS2 and scored rather well even on Hard mode judging. Finally get to hear the renown singer wx sing, tho he was cursing that there wasnt any chinese songs and he din noe half of them. Still he sang and he amazed me wif his expertise. Was laughing my head off in another room before going back to the couch to cheer him on. Man he reminds me of a Singapore Idol blooper. Oh and still havent lost my DDR controller skills. Heh. Meh. Then met Gary, whom I've not seen in a long time. And refrained myself from gambling. It's wrong.

The bad points? Aplenty. Had to pay $15 eating trash like chips, and go hungry for the next few hrs. Had to spend $16 {not my money tho} on cab to n fro my house to bring my PS2 cos they 'requested' it. Had all my PS discs hidden in all corners of th's place and all i found was a miserable dirty CD of mine laying loose among his books. Had to buy dinner for the bunch of snobs hogging on to the console at all times. Went to the food court and it was near closing hours. In the end yf had to head all the way to JP to get packet food for them. With limited cash some more. Oh well, he din want the class outing to end on a bad note, nobility. Dinner turned out to be disgusting tho, all the leftovers. Brinjals, ew hate em. Had to spend $7.50, my last cash remains, on a booked cab shared wif josh to head back home at arnd 330am. Was too tired n pissed to stay any longer doin close to nth.

Im glad this episode is finally over. This will probably be the last ex-class outing that we have I suppose. Organisers like yf are too tired to hear stupid reasons of 'im sick' or 'i got smth on' when something is being planned so painstakingly and the turn out rate is always so dissatisfying. I'd rather have a ex-class clique outing if tts the case.

We tried, we gave, we hoped, we expected, we regretted, we learn, we forget.

Past.
All about myself, zero social
Good grades, lousy start, 16th
Climbed, still not familiar
Made friends
Who would have thought
They lasted a lifetime.
Till now at least.

Camps, 1N/2N, Mr Ang
Stuff I barely remember
Abt the trvialities
Or the broken glass from rocks
Stuck in an ice cold cage
Playing my own games
Of friendships.

Electric dreams.
Rite.
Everybody dreams
Mine was never
About the class.
But between the both of us
A future
That never materialised
Posession.
Bottling.
Danger.
Resolution.
Futile.
End.

Form teachers.
Good luck ill sec3.
Everything changed aft tt.
Dropping grades
Attitude
But i never seem to blame
Myself.
She was the super glue
Of the reluctant 4B
The crap dance
Which she imposed
When we could
Do a better job
Ourselves
But end up
With no one
To perform with.

Reality
Painful word
A week left
Still here
Trying to seek
Understanding
The all important word
That seems to be taken
For granted
Just because people are there
During the happy times
Means they'll be there
In times of sorrow?

Religion
What you give you will get
Karma huh
Free thinking
Is where you choose to believe
In yourself
It may seem devoid and selfish
But isn't it
The best alternative
From choosing from so many choices
That you don't know
Which is real anymore
Who is the true One
Living is ultimately
for yourself.
At least thats what
I believe in.

Forgotten past
Changed present
Unknown future
Life.

Hmmz. I realise alot of ppl come to this place and read. Yes, even if this may seem like a boring place where i dun tok abt anything except occurences. Everything tts on the surface.

Just like wad my ex-classmate said, he got to my blog by clicking all sorts of links from other people. And for those people who decide to judge me by wad i write here, please jolly well fuck off. A blog is where you spam sudden urges of text, and does not depict your normal feelings. I mean, if you were to keep writing that you feel stressed abt commons in here, cos half the time tts how you feel, the blog is more of a whining chamber to u aint it.

So, people tt i dun talk to or even acknowledge ur presence, please fucking get out of my domain.

Its now 5am in the morn. Wee....hours of dawn. Nvm. Din manage to do much yesterday. Only finished functions. Crap i need to function faster! Think ill spend the least time on Econs, as wad i always do. Wonder if its the smart thing to do or not. Wonderful, 17 days left. Or 16. Orhor~ im dead. Ok wad am i writing.

Feelin tempted to change my blog template again. Tweaked a couple of things just now, realised that getting rid of the blogger banner on top aint that hard after all. Hmm shld i change? Dun really like this layout, like everything stuck in the middle, constricted kind of feeling. Ah well.

Promised myself i wun touch games from today onwards, right until the CTs are over. Hope i can fulfil that. Well ill probably still be online. Just hope i dun get addicted to something else like blogging or wad when im abstaining myself from games.

Goin to bed. Bye computer. Hello bed. *jumps*

Ok since im not gaming now i might as well blog since im online. Its already 12th June. Thats like 17 days left to CT2. And i havent even done much revision. People around are scaring me with their all hectic studying schedules and abstinence from anythings that wastes time and does not boost the results of ur CT. Seeing everyone stressed up and panicky is worrying me. Cos im not feeling much on my side.

Anw on the the week's business. Went to Sentosa with the choir clique on Wednesday. Plus XXX, as wad jh calls it. Huishan couldnt come cos she wanted to study, same for beck and sr. The weather was kinda against us, when we were abt to depart from harbourfront to the island, the dark clouds moved in on us. Oh and we took abt 1 hr sashaying around for groceries while waiting for jiayan at the same time.

Yupz so it began to ran even before we stepped into the waters. Heavily too. And so the group of us were stuck near the beach unable to do anything cept to bide time and wait for the rain to taper off. Well it did simmer after abt 20mins, but its was still drizzling lightly tho. Well that didn't stop us from having fun. Laid down the mats, played a bit of 3v3 ultimate frisbee. 3 ppl, u can imagine how much each of us had to run. Our stamina only lasted us for 15mins, then soon after we went into the water to chill.

Basically slacked arnd the shallow waters and chat and gossiped and bitched (abt XXX). At one point we swam across to the next island, and wrote huge letters of 'NJC' on it. Tough digging for the 4 of us tho. And kinda bad, leaving jiayan alone with.....ahem. Cos they cun swim la. Had to loiter arnd tt small piece of land cos the rain suddenly got heavier when we got there, with winds and lightning and all. Well, anything to get as far away as XXX.

Had Jamie's handmade banana bread with cheese and ham for lunch. She has such motherly traits *aww* lol. She'd make a gd mum, or model, either way. Oh then the yr 1s came to join us. Poor Sida lost his phone on the bus, well i noe how irritating it can get. Which reminds me, I lost my test tubes durin chem prac *sobs*.

Played ult frisbee again, yr1s vs yr2s. Woah, i nvr expected Beng Hee to be so rough. We almost got trashed, save the number of times we went so far from the edge of the line to score. We then went to soak, perspiring like mad. THe yr 1s came along too, cept Thomas who din bring extra change.

Had a bonding session. Perverts out there, there was no stripping involved fyi. Then cutey Cheryl n JK would drift away in the water n do godnoeswad. Haha failed to catch them red-handed tho. Left quit early tho, at abt 5. Had dinner then at the nearby food centre then took a bus home. Slept all the way during the journey. Surprised i woke up a few stops b4 my stop. I think i have a bio-bus-clock alrdy. Wadeva u call it. Bleah.

Ok enuf abt Wednesday. Tho i havent bitched enuf of XXX. Nvm ill save it for the entire next post. Haha flamethrower loaded n ready. Then yesterday there was this choir workshop by Valesco, some cool dude from Phillipines who might be our judge in Olympics, and basically very gd with conducting and vocal stuff.

And so we learnt a lot from him. He made all the pieces sound so much nicer and musically artistic. Tho as some ppl say the stuff he taught might contradict Ms Lim a bit. Oh well she was pissed off with the girls for dunnowad reason, i think she just wants face and wants to prove tt as a sop herself her sops are the best section in the choir. She's so afraid of losing face tt sometimes the choir has to suffer her wrath for nothing. And the demoralising. And then there goes the vicious cycle of singing disgustingly.

Then had dinner with clique. Joined the yr 1s for the first time. Dinner that is. Their table was basically quite stoned. Something wrong with 156 today i guess, all so glum. Then JK and Cheryl were left at one corner romancing away. Wonder if tt always happens when the group goes out to eat. They'll probably be left aside with no one daring to get near them in case they get electrocuted by their high voltage signals to each other. Heh.

Supposed to attend my CT's wedding today morning, but slept over it. Partly due to my reluctance to wake up, and the friggin huge distance i would have to travel. Also gamed till quite late yesterday, so couldn't really get enuf shuteye. Played the whole day away today, feelin kinda guilty. Ok mayb not so, cos i dun feel a sudden urge to dig into my books after committing such sinful crimes. Ah im screwed. *Screams* :echos:

Ok tts long enuf. Stayed here long enuf too. Cyaz.

Missed choir today. Felt dizzy and had a headache so went back to sleep. (omit the italics if ur not a choir teacher or Ms Lim tts reading this) Woke up at 12+. Met my same ex-classmates again to go play tennis in the same court at the same time wif the same people. Actually another of my classmate came, so it makes 5 of us.

Well got worn out really fast. The sun was shining bright, and after a while of running after balls and wad have u, legs were feeling all heavy and reluctant to move. Thats the time when the games get boring as u feel lazy to run after balls that fly far away from u, and in the end u end up picking more balls then hitting them. Thats the time when u shld stop.

After tt went to watch movie wif josh: Harry Potter 3. Hmm not gonna type a movie review here, knowing lotsa ppl reading this havent watched it yet. Ok maybe not so many. Many said it sucked, i felt it was average. But they sure spent alot of time showing off their cgi effects and all their wonderful animations tho. And couldnt really feel the tension or emphasis on the movie either.

The movie itself was ok. The process was terrible. There was this stupid middle-aged senile ugly man sitting beside me with his friggin family, and halfway thru the show his loud phone started ringing and he took his own sweet time to answer. As if the whole theatre needs to hear his outdated lousy spastic hokkien ringtone. And he had the nerve to start chatting on it. Felt like pointing some finger at him. The middle one quits him. And he was using the bluetooth headset.

And after tt some handphone from behind rang and a woman picked it up and started talking. Damn these people shld be barred from the theatre. They dun even have the basic courtesy to turn off or 'silence' their handphones, and still dare to talk in the cinema so loudly. The least they could do is sms the caller back or walk out of the cinema to answer the call. I hope those people burn n rot in hell.

And the children can't stop making noise. Well its natural for them to start yakking abt cute faces of Hermoine and Harry, but they can keep their wavering story books fantasie at their own house, please. And to start wowing at 'justice prevails' and 'good triumphs over evil'. Haa.

Ok enuf bitching. Those kids shld grow up. At a relatively faster rate. Their brains are maturing too slowly. They suck. Lollipops.

Went for a concert today. Met my ex-classmate which i haven't seen in some time. Well was chatting wif him, seems like he got attached recently. Heh found out thru his hp pic. So next time if u dun want ppl to noe tt ur attached, dun do obvious stuff like put a person's pic as ur wallpaper or smth.

Ok met this girl called Steph. Shes nice =).
Ok end of story.
Anti-climax haha.

Very very very, and i emphasize again, very UNLUCKY day today. Either i woke up on the wrong side of bed today, or its truly the unluckiest day of my life.

Ok, had chem prac today. Before tt everything was fine, had choir, turned up late, lucky they havent really started so i wasnt scolded or anything. Ok then all the bad luck started to pour over once i left the LT. Was studying for QA at the holding area when my fren collected money for class fund. Ok no prob. Then when i wanted to get back to studying my notes they were gone. Scrambled everywhere, wasted time, even tried hard to recall when i misplaced them.

Turns out my fren took it by mistake. Oh and before i got my notes back, i was venting my anger on the glass rod in the chem lab. Was banging it hard on the table. Snap! It broke. Wow im so strong. Damn it 1 less glass rod to use. Irritated.

Was doin physical chem portion of the paper. Supposed to pour magnesium into a plastic cup containing hydrochloric acid and measure the temperature of the exothermic reaction. The darn bloody plastic cup was so light tt when put the thermometer in the cup tilted and spilled over. N i got HCL all over my pants. PLUS the thermometer broke. Was feeling itchy all over cos of the stupid solvents in contact wif my skin. Well hasd to back away from my seat while they clear up the mercury. And my paper was wet and soggy and slightly tinted wif purple i think. Pissed. Had lesser time for my prac too. And got reprimanded by Mr Gwee for breaking 2 items. Darn.

Din manage to finish the paper in the end. Left quite a lot of blanks. Anw after tt went to play bball wif some classmates, ended up some bastards came to join to nicely show off their skills. Wow im so impressed. And i even got my rather-new specs broken by being banged by the ball in the face.

Great. Now i have to make a special trip all the way down to the optician to get it fixed. Tried playing tennis w my fren, but in the end got no racket, went home duly after tt.

And realised i lost all my test tubes when i got home. Damn i hope nobody steals them. Gd thing we're the last group to do the chem prac, and we also did it on the last day. Now the chem labs will be locked till sch reopens. Hopefully i remember to collect them back on the first day, or risk getting an entire new set at a dreaded cost.

Today sucks. Definitely not my day.

Missed econs yesterday. Overslept till abt 1, woke up when its time for choir. In the end was a bit late. Actually missing econs wasnt too devastating, mainly cos my tutor was returning the essays we did and just goin thru the outlines. I nvr handed in a single essay. Bad me. And i heard she din mark a single piece of them, which all the more tells me im not wrong when i dun hand in the essay.

Mysterious voice: "You're not wrong, she wouldn't mark ur essay even if u handed in anw..."

I feel my conscience cleared heh. Ok choir today wasn't as bad as tuesdays, where it was 3 freaking hours of sectionals. Every minute on Tuesday was a torture session for me, like im being whipped every second, 10800 times in total. Ouch. Trying hard to stay awake when singing the Tsubasa which sounded like a lullaby. So glad tt day passed.

Today was more like a ok-im-attending-choir-im-gonna-do-what-i-can kind of feeling. Actually, i cun really remember wad happened during choir today. I think it was quite fruitful, Nata sounded nice, Dayung err.... lets just say i was drowning..... in thought (and swmming my way to shore frm the turbulent waters). Nvm.

Ms Lim's coming back tmr. Hope shes not gonna be unhappy, esp when half the choir wun turn up due to lessons and wadeva, and also the way we sound might kill her ears. Well 2 wrongs equals 1 right? Rite.

Quite an enriching day today. Went for gym and tennis. Since it was in the afternoon has no trouble of turning up on time. That's wad i guessed at first. In the end, played one game of Starcraft w yf, thinking we can finish the match quickly and not be late for our meeting time at 130. Turns out the whole game dragged till 140 , ao i was a lil late.

Originally planned for some 2 hr gym trainin, in the end gymmed for only 1.5. Even so, it was so darn tiring. Muscles aching all over now as i type this entry. Did some intense pull up training. Rather....painful. Slacked quite abit there too, talking and catching up with one another. Oh forgot to mention tt i was gymming and playing tennis w 2 of my ex-classmates. We often talked online, but tts a total different feeling of chatting in person.

Ok anw tennis was next. Surfing the ball's a major prob for all of us. Have to smack the ball into a small area where it bounces off so tt it doesnt count as an out. Never touched tennis in years, so kinda rusty when i first hit the ball. Gradually enlightened, could play a few balls where it crosses the net 10 times! Wow. Oh and some of the balls nearly flew out of the condo onto the public pavement. Ok in fact one of em did. Hit by yours truly. Kindly asked one of the passers-by to throw it back into the condo. Had several balls out of the tennis court too, had to scremble through some bushes to get em. Not to mention the mass array of ants, bugs, thorns, and wadeva nature brings.

Was too tired to continue aft 2 hrs. Hitting all the balls in all directions. Couldn't really run and move my legs. Went back to my fren's house to rest aft tt. Heard him play a bit of piano, guitar and harmoc before leaving. Woah never knew he had so much talent in music in sec sch. And he can play those pieces that he specially learns rather nicely. If ur reading this, dun go indulge in self praise so soon, u still have ways to go ok. =P

After tt went for dinner at some crowded food court. Oh yea today's Vesak Day tts y. Went home duly after tt.

Fruitful day of exercise. Ok did i alrdy mention tt?

Ok time for a new entry, to push the ah pei picture down. Lets see, havent had the urge to update in 2 weeks. The block test is really killing my affinity for routine chores like this. And having so many choir pracs, plus make up lectures and tutorials, even finding time to sleep is a trouble. I dint remember any of my hols to be like this. Any only 2 hrs of playtime a day, plus abt 5 hrs of sleep. Man we shld get paid for 9 to 5 education, we help boost the development of the country in the long run, and the govt has so much cash reserves for these kind of improvements.

Heck wad am i saying, im disgracing econs here. And logic. Ok lets see wad happened today. (im updating this entry 3 days aft this date) All i can remember is wad i dun wanna remember: intensive choir pracs. Oh stayed over at my frenz house on Sunday, then the next day was too slack to go for cip. Cooked up some funny excuse and changed the date to the following day. Had one whole day of stuff goin on today, choir prac in morn, nearly couldnt wake up. Then had chem lect, nearly din wanna go. Was so tempted to pon since it was food chem. In the end stayed in sch for lunch, then gradually pulled into the LT. Mugger power. After tt felt a dying need to repay my sins by goin for CIP. so guilty~ heh.

Managed to persuade my fren to come along, then we did cip for 3 godly hours. We're such saints :halo: Ok crap. Was quite slack actually, we even gave ourselves a 30min break in the mid to go buy stuff n eat. Was happily chatting way then forgot the time. Hurriedly rushed back to find that they didn't bother at all.

Gamed till very late. Same old story.