Hmm after much blog-surfing, gained enuf motivation and inspiration to update my blog once again. And really tempted to write a long entry too heehee. Well, first things first, had quite a gd day today considering the stressful day i had yesterday. Had to carry so many stuff to school, was so clumsy and all while walking and on the bus. But it'll be worse if your out on a major shopping spree wif ur gf n u carry all tt baggage for her, arnd the crowded streets. Ok irrelevant =S.

Food chem lect was interesting, with all the nutritional facts tt they teach u. At least it applies to ur real life diet rather than some stupid topic like NMR. Double GP was slack, with the class let off to do research to present . Apparently the deadline got extended again. Feel kinda guilty, like we're abusing his niceness and slowing him down in his tutelage. And while attempting research, we sorta wasted time and even watched Happy Tree Frenz. Cute violence haha. Ok out of pt. Anw next was Maths tut wif Mr Bek. Hes such a cool teacher, can chitchat and talk things out wif him sia. Hes really understanding and effective in teaching too. Really appreciate him giving breathing space to his students, or i woulda died of stress frm not completing so many maths assignments.

Choir after tt. Choir sounding better and better. My voice getting suckier and suckier. I feel like my i lost my diaphragm, and it comes to a point where i have to use my voice and screech for the high notes. Gah hope i get back the technique soon. The costumes still look ugly. Its 4eva just the black maternity dress and the black blazer. The mind-manipulating teachers [excluding Mr Ang] just dun understand fashion. And adding a flower brooch during the interval doesn't change the look one bit. On the whole it still looks the same. Urgh just hope the audience is satisfied with the music.

I cun connect wif the frog song. All the uwahs here and there sounds so boring, but gd thing Ms Lim adding some interesting stuff to spice up the tuneless song. Kinda funny sounding tho, plus those frogs. Wonder how it sounds as a whole. Mayb its quite cool after all. N Dayung Sampan is such a hard song argh. Plus all the sacred songs, all havta reach so high aiyo. And Japanese, all the weird notes and pitches. Ok Shaun stop complaining abt ur sad life.

Cantabile's in 2 days. Yeah only 2 periods in the morn until were dismissed for choir prac n all. GP n PE. Still thinking whether to skip PE or not. But dun wanna miss out on the games leh. But if do PE then will be damn sweaty, plus gotta bring PE attire oso. Hmm opportunity costs n trade-offs. *thinks hard* Anw i think were gonna do well for the concert. We always luv face, and never fail to shine in front of important ppl, and during exclusive performances like this.

Just finished watching AMI, kinda sad tt Jennifer Hudson got voted out last wk, i dun see any gdness in John Stevens, but everyone seems to swoon over him. In fact, the remaining guys shld just leave, its the girls' time to rule over this season. And Singapore Idol? I wonder how musical n professional it can get when compared with AMI. Plus the fact tt Singaporeans are so kiasee, hu will dare audition without the confidence of being a pretty gd singer? There wun be many hilarious bloopers probably, and the quality of sound will definitely be much lower. And voting will be so unexciting. Hope John Stevens will get voted out this time anw. Or George Huff.

Well, abt the stressful day yesterday, was basically faced with the same problem abt school stuff again. Solved one major problem, plus another problem tt cropped due to a simple misunderstanding and miscommunication. Relieved a bit of stress, and sleeping and not getting scolding for not doin tutorials the next day helped eased my moods a lil. Could lame arnd and joke abt and toss n turn. Ok forget the toss n turn. My mood is really fluctuating these days. Happy to sad to self-delusion to denial to normal to depression to joyful to sian to tired to normal again. Just need to supress the unwanted ones and express the right ones. Just like genes. Heh.

Hmm long entry. Proud of myself. This gives me the right not to update for a longer time =P. Ok joking.

I really am puzzled sometimes. Not just by u anw, by myself too. Where do i stand? I get the feeling that im being concealed frm alot of stuff. Tts y i hate being told things halfway, n being known of a secret tt im not supposed to noe of.

Choir concert in a week's time. Well, its really quite pissifying to noe tt so many items are being cancelled all of a sudden. Everything seems to be in a mess. Even Ms Lim is getting tensed up just due to all the last minute changes and underpreparation. Good thing is the choir is sounding better and better, just hope things go well by next wk.

Im starting to get impatient with her too. She's losing the respect of everyone. Standing right in front waving hands and beating the general rhythmn of the song isn't v effective. Its so boring n uninstructional tt i dun even bother looking anymore. The efficiency of practices is so much better with Ms Lim arnd. Without her, the choir is just memorising and going thru songs mindlessly.

And she keeps drilling sections the wrong parts that they sing, unable to notice tt she nvr delivers wad she wants clearly. Communication breakdown. And it just gets worse and worse. There's no change in her technique even after people tell her. No experience, no adaptation to change, no skill, no improvement. Nothing.

Went to celebrate jh's and jamie's bdae yesterday. First time being one of the earliest, had a taste of waiting for 50mins. Truly boring and waste of time, experienced the pain us guys always brought upon the gals everytime we went out. So we went Fish n Co. for dinner at 430pm. Food was gd man, and portions were big but cost was still BEARable heh. Lotsa phototaking, and xchanging of diff cocktails.

Too bad the day ended prematurely, cos the bdae stars had to leave for dinner. Went home b4 the sun came down. Not used to it. Gotta scrimp and save for next wk, eating bread, in order to pay for all the prez money that i owe huishan. *sobs*

Been doin nth lately. Hw all chucked at one corner of my bag untouched. I think the teachers wanna see my parents. Hope they dun say too much bad stuff about me @@.

Talking to u everytime makes it seem as though we were nvr frenz, but merey just trying to accomodate wif each other. Things have really changed, n yet ur still stuck in yesterday's reality. Are u hiding frm urself, or hiding urself frm the rest of the world? You may not even know urself. ---Enigma

Been lazy to log lately. My com ihas been just a downloading and burning device the past week. Ripping anime episodes off the net, burning them onto cd format. Too laggy to do anything else. No time to blog either.

Well, attended Dance Nite today. Frenz around gave so many different comments, but generally i think it was good, din fall asleep at least haha. Kelly's gd at her stuff manz *praises*, was trying to find xm throughout the concert, she was running everywhere lol. Some parts were kinda messy tho, gs it must be the lack of time having so many dances to handle. Oh, and adeline was fantastic, graceful n all, with her ballet expertise. Wow. Stunning. N i liked the part where they were dancing to "Baby one more time" in frizzy hair n casual costumes, so funky.

Looking at their well received concert makes me wonder about the choir concert. Right now, its only 34% tix sold. Must gambatte nes, but kinda hard to advertise for a singing professinal performance when many in the public prefer entertainment value, dun ya think? Just cun understand the teachers and their crap abt having saintly sacred songs tt might bore ppl to death. Still, we shall sing it well nevertheless.

Having so many choir pracs a day is depriving me of fun. Singing at a forced pace, with all the rules and set style really sux. Oh and abt yesterday, i wasnt tested in the end, cos Ms Lim kinda cooled down, then i apologised to her. Well she said she had faith in my attitude n singing, so i was lucky i gs. Was spending so much time revising scores with jy n hs, then later with honseng in choir store until now im so familiar with most of the songs i can sing it backwards. Ok maybe not. Totaly clueless abt Sayonara.

Speaking abt tt, gtg go do my tuts liao. Sayonara~

Unlucky. Had serious aches on my legs today, after napfa yesterday. Gonna take it again, since i din do well in the run, wif a stitch on the 4th lap. Had mino eye infection today, eyes all red n a lil swollen. Got into pretty rough choir trouble today, to the extent tt hs had to call me in the middle of the practice to tell me im dead, Ms Lim's gonna test me on Friday, Mr Ang wants to see me tmr blahblah. Thinking of it now makes me wanna die of anxiety. Practically ruined my day, spending time thinking abt wad to do, n recalling songs like mad.

Im losing sight n scope of my life. Like life has lost its meaning. Nothing motivates me now. Being slack has become a norm for me. Sigh. I need to snap out of this soon. I need a break. And taking a rest at home isn't enuf.

There was a blackout yesterday. Coincidentally, Gabriel came over to do some house[rep]work, and halfway writing some document everything went pitch black. The whole neighbourhood, street lamps, everything. So we started looking for light sources. With one miserably dim torch and a 6610 handphone light, my mum went to look for a candle. Then gab n i slacked in front of the [camp]fire n started catching up. Havent talked to him in a long time. Night stars were especially beautiful tt nite. How one doesn't notice their surroundings in such a busy city life. But when one takes a step back n admires the things around him, he may just find something worthwhile.

Lights came back up only after half an hour or so. Blackouts can be fun, if ur not alone tt is. Made alot of phonecalls to check out the extent of the blackout, n also to see if there's any news on air. Apparently not.

Just had a quarrel wif my bro just now. He sux. Theres no way i can communicate wif such a person. Cun be bothered.

Ended up not doing Napfa today. Go figure how.
Going to Josh's house to stayover. Shun bian do Complex numbers qns n watch Naruto episodes. Got an invitation to church tmr. Dunno whether i shld go. DUn like messing arnd religion stuff. Being a free thinker is so much free-er. If spritually ur ok, then i think religions dun really matter to you.

Ok more of this next time. Tah.

Burning videos now, so cun game. Oh well ill blog i guess. Missed AMI again, damn. Wonder hu will get kicked out this wk? Hope its not Camille Valesco. Quite slack now, no hw due tmr, acty got, Maths complex numbers, but lazy to do.

OK more abt today. Choir prac was loooong. Always feel drained on Wednesdays. Well, CK as sick, so HS took over. Kinda disastrous la, but not his fault, guess we're too lac. Keep forgetting to sing correctly, brain totally shut off by combined. Hmm Lee Ting getting better at conducting and instructing, Steph improving too. Gd to see things being done more efficiently.

HS: Stop indulging in self-pity pls. You wanna learn it the harsh way izit. For god's sake ur the SL, stop thinking ur the weakest link. Ur not gonna get things done if u keep doubting urself. You can only earn respect when you start to respect urself. Sectional LEADER, if u cun get over ur annoyingly low self-esteem, ur gonna screw up every sectional. So wad if u play wrong notes? You can always sing the notes in confidence.

N dun show a black face to the section leh. Scary, n looks possessed.
Napfa tmr, darn. My legs are aching alrdy.

=/ Left my file containing all the worksheets n tutorials in the choir store. Supposed to collect back on Saturday before choir prac, but was too tired to appear. Slept thru all the alarms sigh n woke up like in the late afternoon.

And darn missed the choreographing of the dance for I Will Follow Him. Ah well, dun think ill have much moves to contribute anw. Frm wad i hear, guess the ppl dancing are quite gd.

Let's see, still got wad. Oh Friday the Ritz Carlton performance totally waste time. Stone there for so many darn hours doin nth, wait for so long for our turn, sing in front of them for a few mins, then left. Dinner was crap too, tot it was gonna be luxurious food frm the hotel, turns out to be our sch canteen food. Bleah. Aft tt went to Mac at suntec. Played some lame games, like bangbangbangbangbang, hu died?, how many mehmeh jump over the wall?, wad time is it, etc. Those tt require u to observe diff aspects. The pattern's just there to confuse n distract. Mwaha, jh was so clueless, getting tricked by all of em.

And everyone's entry so choir related these days. For me i feel tt choir pracs are getting more n more redundant. The times when i used to enjoy most in choir is combined, where everyone blends in nicely n the song becomes so melodious. N i used to hate sectionals, learning one song after another, damn irritating. But now all the non-Ms Lim combines suck [details in others' blogs]. So much until i dun feel like coming. The fun of combines is ruined. Some more keep singing the same song for dunno wad reason. In fact, sectionals are so much more fun now. With ck being more slack, n finished wif song learning, only thing left is dynamics n stuff, which is done more in sectionals rather than combine.

I can feel tt Steph is trying. Its hard managing such a big grp. And the fact tt she isnt strict makes it all the harder. Some times these kinda things need talent n experience la, n only 1 yr isnt enuf to be like Michelle or Zi Yang, our senior SCs. But i think need to give them face, they are starting to feel the pressure of everyone's expectations on them. IMO, its not a matter of hu is best for the job, but rather hu has the right to do it, to do it. If not, ppl hu felt tt Shu En isnt gd enuf at disciplining the choir as the VC would have stepped on her toes long time ago.

I wonder how long the choir can keep quiet abt the unhappiness lurking abt them. I sense an eruption occuring. Things are gonna get messy.

Always have a habit of updating late, so in the end have to change time n date to the previous day so tt things correspond accordingly. Anw got back my results for 2 subs today. Chem n Math. Well, at least i din do as badly as i thought i would for maths, managed to be kinda average in the class la. Chem also in the middle range in class. Strangely, im not getting the stress n fear tt is supposed to build up towards the As, after every CT. Mayb cos im thinking tt ive improved, and tt my results are quite ok when u look at the cohort as a whole. But i noe ultimately tts an excuse of giving myself some leeway for me to do as badly the next time. OK even when i noe this im still slacking in front of the comp listening to music, blogging, chatting, wadeva. ~.~

Missed yesterday's AMI. Motown music? Ew not my genre. [Hints: Techno/Pop pls?] Surprised tt Latoya got into bottom 3, she rox mua sox man. Not really into Fantasia tho, shes too perky imo. My opinion of Jennifer Hudson is getting worse. She seems kinda overconfident and a bit hao lian now. Guess ppl can change under extreme conditions and stress, revealing their true ugly self.

Watching tonnes of anime these days. On short days will try to get home early and then get glued to the TV with Naruto and One Piece episodes. Aiyah CT just over, need to cut myself some slack.

Oh and stained both my thumbs with ethanal today. Now got 2 brown circles on them [Aahh im disfigured for life! k/d]. Then was kinda freaked when handling phenol, tt disgusting sticky crystal-liquid crap. Then while wearing the gloves, my hands felt cold and powdery inside, prob cos of my imagination. Took them off and saw my hands white. Then realised it was powder within the gloves. For a moment thought tt my skin corroded, scary -_-. Hah.

Goin to some high-class luxurious Ritz Carlton Hotel tmr. Main attraction: Dinner will be provided. Yumz [slurps]. Mwahaha and also get to be dismissed at 1250. Gonna miss only one lesson only anw. Oh anw got to go home super early today, cos Mrs lim nvr come, then no Econs lesson. Nvr do the tutorial case study, whew lucky me.

Which reminds me, need to go do case study liao. Argh hate writing long essay-style stuff, but dun wanna suffer her wrath either. Guess theres no way out.

Thought of the day: Have you been true to urself? No one else noes the real answer except you.