Slept for 14 hours. Must be due to the drinking.

Anw, went jogging in the late afternoon with my fren, tiring man, esp when trying to maintain a convi while running. Slacked off after 40mins. Quite fun la, hope it becomes a weekly routine. Healthy sia. Too bad she had to go off early so din get to eat dinner tgr.

OK then went to meet up with my ex-classmates for dinner. Always end up eating foodcourt, no matter how reluctant we are. But other choices are all so expensive and yf is having dissavings every month cos of some unlucky financial prob his family met up. All at once some more.

Nvm, after tt got some stupid idea to go to yf's house to watch Charmed and secretly drink his sis's vodka. Cool. Went to buy some chips and Sprite then headed over. His house looks neater than expected. OK so we had Vodka sprite, Midori sprite, Vodka Currant, and a couple of vodka shots. Felt high after tt. Fun.

N i wasnt drunk k. I knew wad i was doin. I was just erratic. And hyper. But i wasn't red lor.

What's love? (From a forward i got)

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person.

Thought of the day: Are you in love?

Sigh. Havent studied for maths test yet. Cun remember the formulas and all. Lately have been stressed abt other ppl's probs, ironic im not ironing my own ones out instead. I think its easier trying to solve others probs. Then again, its also easier to run away from your own.

Hmm. Love transcends all boundaries. Beyond looks, race, religion, gender. OK not trying to promote homos or wad, just that you never know when love drops in on you via who. Just noe wad ur doin. Love is all around too, and in different forms, just know how to differentiate. Dun look for love, let it look for you, since love is blind at its truest. Let thy heart guide you, not the eyes~

K nuff said. Crappy =S.

Argh. So tired and drained. Got headache on the journey home. And no place to sit some more, felt terrible while travelling on the expressway. Choir today was ok la, ez songs, fastest to finish, had time to revise other songs, crap and interact. Had a hard time reaching notes tho, w/o support cos so tired.

Cun seem to remember clearly wad happens in sch each day. Well blogging helps me remember. Anw today's 2 hr GP was so slack, ended up doin research again, he let us go find resources 30mins after class started. Till now we only did one written work: Compre. No essay experience at all, just have to depend on innate skill for CT. Not that there's much to study for in GP anw.

Feel kinda guilty today for making Huifang sad. Tried making it up to her by giving her some last minute thoughtful gift. Hope she feels better. Dun fret gal, love is kind. Really sorry on my part.

Hmm wad else. Oh tried hard to persist frm 8-10 just now without sleeping. Just for AMI. Today's perf was totally awesome. All the singers were gd, with the last singer, Latoya London, being totally amazing. Stunned after hearing her. High notes and all. Wow. N the first singer too. And Amy Adams. Gonna be a tough choice for America to vote for top 2.

Wad our civics tutor said today was scary. "2 more weeks to CT, and ur one of the weakest classes, everyone else is showing improvement except ur class". Yikes. Made our whole class freak out. I think im handling my stress the wrong way. Channeling it into a weakness instead. Bleah. Gd thing im gonna get tuition from senior. Hope it works. I need to get my engines running.

[Vroom~]

Settled. Dun pursue lor. Dun tok. Dun msg. Dun.
Invisible.
I dun know you. You dun know me. No effort made.
Turn left. Right. Run.
Infatuation. No substance. Desire. Right.
Stop. Think.
Wrong.

Yay. The cookies were successful. Dun misunderstand, i dun normally cook stuff, unless im hungry, not to say bake. First time in my life doin this. Reason? Hmmz.

Tmr got chem test but i havent studied. Came here to whine. Gd thing tmr got 8-10 free period to revise. OK, wad wif mixed feelings.

Virgo
As a lover, if you seek the perfect romance you'll find the definition of disappointment. Affairs of the heart defys the kind of criteria that define excellence. If you can supress your inner desire for perfection, you'll learn to enjoy the rainy days of relationships. Be less critical of the human condition and more compelled by it. Only then can you be among the best Virgo mates - tender, forgiving, thoughtful, generous and attentive to details that make a difference.
Understand that the Virgo sign is one of service and communal living. It is a humane sign. Therefore, you need friends, though you may not acknowledge it. In friendship, Virgo is at his best. You may not be a hearty type, but will be steady and extremely reliable as a friend. Whatever advice and suggestions Virgo gives will be practical and to the point. You hate to break off any relationship. A virgo friend is a solid friend. He is worth the price in platinum.

17th day of the mth Bdaes
You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense.
Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great. You often find yourself trapped among a few great gals while you have to choose only one.
Your dreams and ambitions are much important for you and you can do everything to fulfill your dream. Love is valuable in your life but you always search for someone perfect. You hardly tust someone. Your friends are really important for you but normally you hide a lot from them. You are a deep thinker and you always study the negative view as well as positive.

Hmm HS has the same bdate as me, wonder if its true for him? [Expects reply in tagboard heh] For me most parts are true, though the sources i get them frm is crappy. They seem to ingeniusly reveal the unconcious behaviour of mine.

I was an extreme Virgo in the past, with perfectionism and realism in my mind all the time. Including relationships. Yeah scary. Gradually learnt to relax and slack [now becoming too slack], and not take things so seriously.

Well having friends do matter, im sure, to everyone, but how close are they is another matter. It takes some time for me to open up, and 2 years isnt enuf la. But i guess it varies from person to person. I do have a couple of new close friends tho. There's this interesting theory I came up with. You only have a set amount of time and energy, so the more close friends you have means the less close you are to each one, assume you are not biased towards anyone. Whereas if you only have one close friend, you can devote all your time and energy on him/her. Guess theres this trade off, your life is only this limited. [Ok im making it sound like econs =S]

Yup, it is impossible to gain universal approval. Being a drifter, sometimes its hard to make a choice when your stuck between two conflicting cliques or arguments between your 2 gd frenz. And sometimes you gotta act as a filter paper, filtering information received from one side to another. Or just dun mix up the two immiscible layers. Equilibrum heh. [Chemistry of friendships haha]

As for love, I've learnt not to take things so hard on myself. Let things flow by itself. Let nature takes its course. But its typical for a Virgo to get jealous easily and suspicious too. Two very bad traits. Still trying to stray away from these traits. 8th day of the mth bdaes basically say the love progresses quivkly, but never lasts. 23rd day of the mth bdaes say you seek excitement in love and might have extra marital affairs. Hmm heh. Ok i think its true to a certain extent.

Well it is a fact that relationships we have in school days dun last. I mean, you wun think abt marriage and children when you fall in love at this age, so wad abt it lasting forever? I've already accepted it as a fact of life, so now its just how things go. There might be variations, conformities and deviations from the norm tho. And its this small lucky thing called hope. Theres an even smaller, yet angelic one, called miracle. But without luck, every predicament will just be reality.

So where do we go from here? For me, it's to bed. Haha. Wad bout you, you, you, you, and the rest?

Got a new layout for my blog. Whew. Spent half a day working on it instead of doin work. Din noe it was gonna be tt hard. Looking for nice blogskins, editting, re-editting. Got so many glitches to fix some more.

Tried my hands at baking, for the very first time. WoW~. Absolutely horrendous. Havent tasted yet. Guess ill score a 4/10? Haha.

Mixed feelings rite now. Shall elaborate later. Gotta go try the baked stuff now. *Crosses fingers*

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no lie
I defy

[Chorus:]
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind

[chorus]

I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean

[chorus]

Let's go back
Back to the beginning

Moods.
Empty. Useless. Slack. Pressured. Nothing.
Thoughts.
Saturday. School. Not attending school. Attendance. Excuses. Argh. Failing exams. Family stress. Good grades. Playing away. Running. Hecking.

Wads wrong wif me. Sorry. Din mean to add weight to your problems.

Seems like everyone catched Moulin Rouge. Either today or in the past. I used to be skeptical about the show, thinking it will be some stupid musical about the complicated life of cabaret girls. Never thought abt watching it tho i had the DVD at home....until when almost everyone said it was nice, decided to give it a try.

Kinda surprised really, the music and all. The songs are gd man, and the dances too. The ending sux tho, typical sob story to leave an impression. And found out wad the first sentence of Lady Marmalade stands for. "Gichi gichi gaga dada"(however u spell it): Wanna sleep with me tonight? Heh.

My mood's kinda in a mess the past 2 days. To you, I feel like im being taken for granted. You like making me jealous eh~. Im always there for you when u need me, will you do the same for me? You never said how you feel, pls dun say ur treating this as a game. Well thats the effect im receiving. I dunno wad to say anymore. Im not impt. Screwed. Wadeva.

Tenor section's in such a mess now. Sighz, all the fun we used to have during sectionals is gone liao. Can see the disillusioned faces on the yr1 faces. Trying really hard to enjoy myself and show interest in singing la. Some of them got serious attitude problem also, while some often pon, think they on the verge of quitting anytime.

But we need tenors. Wif them gone, our already small section is gonna be itsy-bitsy....But i think some of the yr1s carry gd positive attitudes la. They got enthu faces, and the 'bring-on-the-song-learning!' kind of aura tt i feel. Cool.

Oh n ling chong's kinda rite, people cun sing with added pressure. Like me n honseng, we have a phobia of auditions. I cun stand solo singing either, using all that support and choir techniques and stuff. Gets really stressful to get everything correct. And yr1s get scared. Esp those that have no choir experience. Tt time when hs n i came in as 2nd intakers and ms lim was pissed and told the SLs to test us on the SYF pieces, we really freaked out n screwed up all the notes when we normally dun. They need time to get used to it la.

CK, dun lose hope of urself, ur improving, keep it up. Since our section learn so fast, might as well give some leeway for us to talk n interact to lighten up the sectional mood and have fun la. Helps relieve stress on ur part too =).

Ok lets just start afresh. I think things are getting better. The past is past, let it be buried in the sands of time....

Not much today. Fruitful day i guess. Mugging, gymming, catching up wif old frenz. Saturday was full of love crap....the seminar thing, went shopping for presents, or ideas actually. Din buy anything in the end, more of decided wad to give. Then slept the whole evening away. Needed to replenish my lost sleep time in the week.

Ok my blog's getting boring. Let's add some interesting thoughts. Emotions.

What is love? The talk told us its more than a feeling, its a commitment. Mister, you forgot abt bonding. I kinda agree with sr tt chemistry is more impt than commitment, or else its just a chore to maintain. You gotta have a reason to keep the relationship going rite, other than the sake of not breaking up and 'commiting'.

Bonding isn't the physical. Its at the psychic level. You dun have to report to each other every day, or meet every other time. Communication is still impt tho, but not top priority. What is bonding exactly? To me, its the strong attraction you feel towards each other, motivating every action tt you take in the relationship. After all, all the things you do for him/her is cos of the attraction you feel. If its just commitment, its all so pointless. It doesn't portray wad you really feel.

And our class discussion today talked abt flings and love. 'What we go through now are flings.' Flings are relationships being had for the sake of having one. Trend of being attached and wadeva. People at this age can experience love too. It may not last till marriage, but tts not wad having love is for is it? Which comes to the qn: Whats the point of love?

Well its everywhere around you. And its natural tt people express it. Frm parent to child, b/w frenz, among lovers, husband n wife. Its just the many different forms of love which exist. Asking us not to fall in love is asking us to keep your emotions to urself.

And life is an irony. Or maybe its a balance. Egs: People wanna live healthy, but wanna indulge in all kinds of food; they wanna be rich, but keep splurging on things they like. And how rich people are lonely; successful men have stinking attitudes.

Those are extremes la i noe. But trying to prove a pt: Life's a huge mountain, never perfect, with ups and downs, you just need to persevere on, not forgetting to enjoy the scenery around you, and make the best out of everything. And dun give up. No short cuts either.

Yep. Nuff said. N hope my views are not in conflict wif anyone. Not meant to impose, meant to suggest. =)

Din manage to finish any hw tonite. No determination to start. My house seriously has too many distractions. Guess everything will be pushed to the weekends after all. Nvm, meeting peeps to study from morning till nite. Hopefully its productive. Simply cun study alone anymore.

Now love really matters. Gotta wake up in time tmr. Or else its a personal session of love talks with the principal, Mrs Cheng. Lovely.

Tmr got love matters seminar. Some stupid brainwashing to tell us why its not gd to love at this time. Some evil scheme to tell ppl to break up cos its the As. Or maybe it advices u not to have casual sex. Dunno. Going out after tt, to shop for stuff [Unbelievable, guys cun stand shopping]. Dunno how long ill be able to tahan walking arnd.

Din go to sch today. Mainly cos wun be able to survive through econs tutorial cos i haven't done the essay outlines she wanted to go thru, plus nvr do chem tutorial. Both tutors will kill me. Anw those were the only significant lessons of the day. Plus the 4 hr break in btw, might as well dun go. And nvr do essay assignment also. Gs i nvr do anything at all. Bleah.

Wanna go for choir wan. But scared kenna seen by them. Then nvr go in the end. Missed dinner too. =/

Then slacked the day away today. Too sick to do anything. More of mentally tired. Now gotta do hw late into the nite. Wanna hand up tmr, dun wanna drag till mon la. Or else more hw to finish up in weekend. Gonna meet up with dancemate to study on sunday. And see wad we can do abt the dance. Not tt anything's been up yet.

Vdae's coming. And tt day got so many stuff. Wad wif road run, talentime concert, and even sectionals/practice? Hmmz shant write abt it.

Backtrack a lil, shall talk abt yesterday. Anw din do anything in the long weekend. Anw had sectionals at sherm's house, ggr wif sops. Juniors included. Try imagining sardines packed in a can. Tight. Close. Ooo. Ok wad m i saying, had brief warm up, then the sops left for some junior's place to ease up the crowd =(.

Anw, sectionals was terrible. CK asked us to sing solo cos we couldnt get it even after umpteen times, yikes. But seriously, hes not at fault, who wouldnt get pissed when ur section doesn't sing in tune/rhythmn. Just remember to encourage and praise when we get it right, and maybe explain ur clause of being strict. Helps ease the tension and anxiety la, esp for yr1s.

And stop demoralising yourself. It only adds more pain and wadeva. You should think of ways to improve, not indulge in self-pity. Sorry for the harsh words, but dun u think u disappoint the people around you when ur liddat? Making ppl even sadder.

Happy stuff: Managed to do econs tys wif the clique at kap. And slacked at sherms house after sectionals for 5 hrs. Making myself comfortable, even fell asleep. Comfortable presence =). Also did a bit of hw there, plus other stupid stuff on the com. Chatted quite a bit at dinner, got to noe more stuff. Hmmz.

Aiyoh blogging's mentally taxin, makes u think back and reflect. Not a bad thing tho. K tts all for now. Hope things go well.